http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/18/colorado.balloon.investigation/index.html
Reason #1,234,543 that the general population as a whole is completely and utterly STUPID. Not "ignorant" but stupid. I'm 100% convinced of this.
"On Sunday, Alderden called the incident a 'hoax', adding that investigators believe the evidence indicates that 'it was a publicity stunt' by the family in hopes of 'better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future'." =
Reason #3,454 "Reality Television" caters to white trash. These a-holes were already on the LCD (Lowest Common Denominator) show, "Wife Swap."
"The Heenes have previously appeared on the ABC program "Wife Swap." Richard Heene chases storms and brings the family along."
Okay, I'm TRULY shocked by this announcement. REALLY? You don't say?
"Heene has been described as a meteorologist, but his education ended at the high school level, Alderden said."
Last but not least these people named their kid "Falcon." Okay, without going into a 100 page dissertation as to what is wrong with this selection, that says one thing to me right there about your "family." The dad is, at the very least, a douche bag and the mom is a complete dumb b%#ch. Read the book Freakonomics about baby names and what it says about your "original" name. I'm guessing "original" doesn't come up but a whole maelstrom of other things do. I'm so tired of parents in general coming up with these silly-@ss names thinking they're all clever and original when in fact it just confirms you're WT. Guess what? Your syrupy "cute" name or those selections that are actually "animals" make the rest of us want to puke, ENDLESSLY! Jesus-f'n-christ, I hate these people. Ask yourself if your kid brought "Falcon" home to play for the first time and you heard his name you immediately wouldn't be making a "judgment call" about his parents? Yeah, that's what I thought.
This story is just another reason to bring back public hangings. Send these a-holes a bill from the city for all the time they wasted tracking this G-D balloon and all the other administrative costs. Of course, their hillbilly-@sses would never be able to pay . . but still COME THE F$#K ON PEOPLE!!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Lebron giving advice to Terrelle Pryor . . . part of what is wrong in sports today.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4584704
Did anyone else read this story from ESPN and think, "This is what is wrong with sports today"? I read this article and I'm thinking, okay LeBron, we get it, you're a 24 year old celeb/superstar. You may have some advice about handling the spotlight at a young age but how are you qualified to handle the deserved negative press that Pryor is receiving? You've had NO real negative press, EVER. Not to mention the fact that Pryor isn't even nearly as talented as you in his respective sport. It would be like Michael Jordan giving me pointers about how to run my projects. Yeah sure, he's a successful business mogul in addtion to his basketball skills, but how's he qualified to talk to me specifically about project management?
Also, WHY IN THE F#$K IS THIS ALL EVEN NECESSARY?!! Pryor is an adult and in college. He's also a college athlete that just happens to SUCK at his position. Guess what? The media and the fans are going to roast you, no matter who you are. Welcome to the rest of the world A-HOLE. If that's all the problems you have, I'll trade places with you TOMORROW! Deal with it and get on with life like the rest of us. I'm so sick of these pampered athletes and their whiny-@ss attitude. "Oh, whoa is me they're picking on me . . . waaaaaaaaah!" Cry me a f'n river. Yeah, I don't give a sh#t.
If I were Coach Tressel, here's what I'd be telling Pryor, "Look, how do you like catching passes, running punts and running kicks back? Because that's the only way you're ever going to see the field here at OSU since you absolutely suck in your decision making as a QB. Dude, we lost to f'n previously 1-5 Purdue because of your bonehead plays."
I had nothing against Pryor until I started reading stories like the one above. In fact, I LOVED when he spurned Michigan to opt for Ohio State because "your enemies' enemy is your friend," but now . . . I want this kid to fail miserably and I'm not ashamed to admit I'm going to REVEL in every minute of it.
Oh and to all those people that say, "They're only kids, you shouldn't be so harsh, we should protect them . . . . shouldn't boo them . . . . blah, blah, blah." Yeah, F you too. First, if you're 18 and in college you aren't a "kid" anymore. I've had to deal with much larger issues at 18 than people booing me on a football field. Second, the fact that even if they are considered "kids" is completely irrelevant. You chose to play big-time sports, you then also chose to pay the big-time price that goes along with that decision. If that means getting booed so be it. There are bigger issues out there than you getting booed and I don't need some jackass telling me, "Oh, don't do that, they're just kids." My response, "Yeah, why don't we just turn the scoreboards off and "everyone wins"? How about that A-hole?! Thanks for the 'advice,' now kindly STFU as I'll have no part in the wussification of America."
Did anyone else read this story from ESPN and think, "This is what is wrong with sports today"? I read this article and I'm thinking, okay LeBron, we get it, you're a 24 year old celeb/superstar. You may have some advice about handling the spotlight at a young age but how are you qualified to handle the deserved negative press that Pryor is receiving? You've had NO real negative press, EVER. Not to mention the fact that Pryor isn't even nearly as talented as you in his respective sport. It would be like Michael Jordan giving me pointers about how to run my projects. Yeah sure, he's a successful business mogul in addtion to his basketball skills, but how's he qualified to talk to me specifically about project management?
Also, WHY IN THE F#$K IS THIS ALL EVEN NECESSARY?!! Pryor is an adult and in college. He's also a college athlete that just happens to SUCK at his position. Guess what? The media and the fans are going to roast you, no matter who you are. Welcome to the rest of the world A-HOLE. If that's all the problems you have, I'll trade places with you TOMORROW! Deal with it and get on with life like the rest of us. I'm so sick of these pampered athletes and their whiny-@ss attitude. "Oh, whoa is me they're picking on me . . . waaaaaaaaah!" Cry me a f'n river. Yeah, I don't give a sh#t.
If I were Coach Tressel, here's what I'd be telling Pryor, "Look, how do you like catching passes, running punts and running kicks back? Because that's the only way you're ever going to see the field here at OSU since you absolutely suck in your decision making as a QB. Dude, we lost to f'n previously 1-5 Purdue because of your bonehead plays."
I had nothing against Pryor until I started reading stories like the one above. In fact, I LOVED when he spurned Michigan to opt for Ohio State because "your enemies' enemy is your friend," but now . . . I want this kid to fail miserably and I'm not ashamed to admit I'm going to REVEL in every minute of it.
Oh and to all those people that say, "They're only kids, you shouldn't be so harsh, we should protect them . . . . shouldn't boo them . . . . blah, blah, blah." Yeah, F you too. First, if you're 18 and in college you aren't a "kid" anymore. I've had to deal with much larger issues at 18 than people booing me on a football field. Second, the fact that even if they are considered "kids" is completely irrelevant. You chose to play big-time sports, you then also chose to pay the big-time price that goes along with that decision. If that means getting booed so be it. There are bigger issues out there than you getting booed and I don't need some jackass telling me, "Oh, don't do that, they're just kids." My response, "Yeah, why don't we just turn the scoreboards off and "everyone wins"? How about that A-hole?! Thanks for the 'advice,' now kindly STFU as I'll have no part in the wussification of America."
Monday, August 31, 2009
Unheard of unprofessionalism in the office
I'm going to snap this week. I swear on my life. I'm on 4 projects when all the other PMs are on 2 projects maximum. Yeah, that's great that I've been told I'm the "best PM we have." Translation: Here's some more work for you jack@ss. F'N BASTARDS!
I now have managers/directors calling me asking me indirectly to do THEIR jobs and give them information that I've already given them if they'd just check their G-D e-mail.
But you know what? I can deal with all of that sh#t. What I CAN'T deal with is the level of professionalism in this f'n office. I can hear the guy behind me, yeah, the same guy that says "here again" at least 1000 times a day, not to mention he is in love with the grammatically incorrect phrase, "I seen . . ." CLIPPING his fingernails at WORK. ARE YOU F'N KIDDING ME?!!! Why don't you just run a clothes line from your cube and hang f'n laundry why you're at it.
Don't even get me started on the lady two rows over that actually brought her Yorkie dog into work and set up a playpin by her desk so the dog could roam around. . . .AND THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I'm not kidding here folks!! Then she wonders why no one will promote her.
Can someone please explain to me why in the world I work in Corporate America? Because for the life of me I am wondering why I continue to work around world-class @ssholes/dumb-@sses. 95% of the populace on this entire earth should be put down. Bring back public hangings!!!
I seriously must have been Hitler in a past life because I'm living my own little hell on earth. I long for the days when I was 5 years old and my biggest problem was who I was going to play ball with that day.
I now have managers/directors calling me asking me indirectly to do THEIR jobs and give them information that I've already given them if they'd just check their G-D e-mail.
But you know what? I can deal with all of that sh#t. What I CAN'T deal with is the level of professionalism in this f'n office. I can hear the guy behind me, yeah, the same guy that says "here again" at least 1000 times a day, not to mention he is in love with the grammatically incorrect phrase, "I seen . . ." CLIPPING his fingernails at WORK. ARE YOU F'N KIDDING ME?!!! Why don't you just run a clothes line from your cube and hang f'n laundry why you're at it.
Don't even get me started on the lady two rows over that actually brought her Yorkie dog into work and set up a playpin by her desk so the dog could roam around. . . .AND THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I'm not kidding here folks!! Then she wonders why no one will promote her.
Can someone please explain to me why in the world I work in Corporate America? Because for the life of me I am wondering why I continue to work around world-class @ssholes/dumb-@sses. 95% of the populace on this entire earth should be put down. Bring back public hangings!!!
I seriously must have been Hitler in a past life because I'm living my own little hell on earth. I long for the days when I was 5 years old and my biggest problem was who I was going to play ball with that day.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Top 5 phrases that may make me go Ted Bundy on some people (joking of course):
1. "It don't matter." - Did you just pick up the English language f$%k-stain?
2. "It's a 'mute' point." - MOOT YOU @SSHOLE!! Christ, even Rick Springfield on the track "Jesse's Girl" got this right.
3. "Here again. . . " Now, there is nothing wrong with this phrase. However, if you sit behind me at the office and use it 20 times during every ten minute conversation on a DAILY basis, I may, just may have to f#cking PUNCH YOU.
4. "Where are you at?" - If you know me, you know this is the phrase that absolutely "Grinds My Gears" a la Peter Griffin. It's "Where are you?" moron!! You sound like some ghetto white-trash piece of sh#t that couldn't pass 4th grade English class using the other version.
5. "Supposebly" - Um, did you get your vocabularly out of a G-D Cracker-Jack box? I know some 60 year old @sshat that actually thinks this is a word.
1. "It don't matter." - Did you just pick up the English language f$%k-stain?
2. "It's a 'mute' point." - MOOT YOU @SSHOLE!! Christ, even Rick Springfield on the track "Jesse's Girl" got this right.
3. "Here again. . . " Now, there is nothing wrong with this phrase. However, if you sit behind me at the office and use it 20 times during every ten minute conversation on a DAILY basis, I may, just may have to f#cking PUNCH YOU.
4. "Where are you at?" - If you know me, you know this is the phrase that absolutely "Grinds My Gears" a la Peter Griffin. It's "Where are you?" moron!! You sound like some ghetto white-trash piece of sh#t that couldn't pass 4th grade English class using the other version.
5. "Supposebly" - Um, did you get your vocabularly out of a G-D Cracker-Jack box? I know some 60 year old @sshat that actually thinks this is a word.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Why I will still be watching the original Star Wars until the day I die . . .
How do you know when you're forever "hooked" on a movie until the day you die? Well, for instance, you begin to recite lines from said movie before those lines are even uttered on screen.
For me, the movie that will forever be in my heart of hearts is Star Wars - A New Hope. Now, I know what you're thinking. If you're a Generation X-er like me, this is no real surprise and hardly original. I'm sure hundreds of 30-something male adults still worshiper this movie. Some in not so subtle ways and others all for their own unique reasons. Remember though, I was a very impressionable 4 years old the summer this movie came out and that is what makes it so special to me. I still remember the very hot summer day in Michigan in which my parents took me to see this film.
It was a typical Midwest summer in late July or August. A hot, very humid sweltering stagnant heat was upon us. The movie had been out for some time. In fact, it had been out so long, the local theaters weren't even showing it anymore. My mom and dad, sans my sister, who had already seen it with friends, packed me into their car on that steamy summer night just before dusk. We arrived in Plainwell, Michigan about a 1/2 hour south of Grand Rapids just in time to enter the theater. I had no idea this movie I was about to see would forever change me as a person. I just knew I was going to the movies with my parents, which for a four year old was always "fun." I can still remember the distinct buttery smell of popcorn as we entered and finding our old worn seats in the dark 1950's style theater. Then . . . it happened. The roar of the jets across the screen and the electric battle in space. I was hooked and mesmerized within seconds. From that moment on, I wanted to be Luke Skywalker and before that point in my life I just existed in my own little world. The film, like no other before or ever since, introduced me to other worlds besides my own, both figuratively and literally. The movie, at such an impressionable age not only captured my imagination, but stirred it, stretched it and sent it in new cosmic directions. It was a "re-birth" of sorts.
Sure, I could tell you that the films basic premises and subplots of good versus evil also played a roll in my attraction, which naturally they did. But truth be told, it was much more than that. The film inspired me to think outside my everyday world. To boldly refute what is laid out in front of me and to imagine what is possible, even if it seems unattainable or unachievable. That is why Star Wars will always be a part of me and who I am today. Someone who doesn't accept what is but imagines what can be. Someone who still dreams the bigger dream and for that I am eternally grateful.
So, the next time you're flipping through channels and see Star Wars on Spike or another network channel, just know, chances are I'm watching. I always do and I always will.
For me, the movie that will forever be in my heart of hearts is Star Wars - A New Hope. Now, I know what you're thinking. If you're a Generation X-er like me, this is no real surprise and hardly original. I'm sure hundreds of 30-something male adults still worshiper this movie. Some in not so subtle ways and others all for their own unique reasons. Remember though, I was a very impressionable 4 years old the summer this movie came out and that is what makes it so special to me. I still remember the very hot summer day in Michigan in which my parents took me to see this film.
It was a typical Midwest summer in late July or August. A hot, very humid sweltering stagnant heat was upon us. The movie had been out for some time. In fact, it had been out so long, the local theaters weren't even showing it anymore. My mom and dad, sans my sister, who had already seen it with friends, packed me into their car on that steamy summer night just before dusk. We arrived in Plainwell, Michigan about a 1/2 hour south of Grand Rapids just in time to enter the theater. I had no idea this movie I was about to see would forever change me as a person. I just knew I was going to the movies with my parents, which for a four year old was always "fun." I can still remember the distinct buttery smell of popcorn as we entered and finding our old worn seats in the dark 1950's style theater. Then . . . it happened. The roar of the jets across the screen and the electric battle in space. I was hooked and mesmerized within seconds. From that moment on, I wanted to be Luke Skywalker and before that point in my life I just existed in my own little world. The film, like no other before or ever since, introduced me to other worlds besides my own, both figuratively and literally. The movie, at such an impressionable age not only captured my imagination, but stirred it, stretched it and sent it in new cosmic directions. It was a "re-birth" of sorts.
Sure, I could tell you that the films basic premises and subplots of good versus evil also played a roll in my attraction, which naturally they did. But truth be told, it was much more than that. The film inspired me to think outside my everyday world. To boldly refute what is laid out in front of me and to imagine what is possible, even if it seems unattainable or unachievable. That is why Star Wars will always be a part of me and who I am today. Someone who doesn't accept what is but imagines what can be. Someone who still dreams the bigger dream and for that I am eternally grateful.
So, the next time you're flipping through channels and see Star Wars on Spike or another network channel, just know, chances are I'm watching. I always do and I always will.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Defective Cog in the Wheel Sighting
Recently I read the following article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090803/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_jobless_grad_sues
Of course after weeping openly for society as a whole, I unfortunately began to realize that in reality the "Worst Generation" is coming of age. You know, the generation that believes everyone owes them something because they simply have a pulse. But really, after reading the article again, there is an opportunity for yet another lawsuit. Therefore, I am countersuing this woman's mother, Carol Thompson, for creating such a worthless human being and drag on society. Somewhere along the way, she forgot to teach her daugher life lesson #1, NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!! I am sure a judge will give my court documents as much credence as they will give Miss Thompson's initial claim.
Every once in awhile I have doubts about my convictions regarding my lost faith in humanity. I've said to myself, "Cole, I think you're being too pessimistic in your assessment. Maybe you're being too harsh," blah, blah, blah and then I read articles like this and I know I am 100% right in saying that the vast majority of humans are morons. Or, at the very least I've discovered yet another Defective Cog in the Wheel.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090803/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_jobless_grad_sues
Of course after weeping openly for society as a whole, I unfortunately began to realize that in reality the "Worst Generation" is coming of age. You know, the generation that believes everyone owes them something because they simply have a pulse. But really, after reading the article again, there is an opportunity for yet another lawsuit. Therefore, I am countersuing this woman's mother, Carol Thompson, for creating such a worthless human being and drag on society. Somewhere along the way, she forgot to teach her daugher life lesson #1, NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!! I am sure a judge will give my court documents as much credence as they will give Miss Thompson's initial claim.
Every once in awhile I have doubts about my convictions regarding my lost faith in humanity. I've said to myself, "Cole, I think you're being too pessimistic in your assessment. Maybe you're being too harsh," blah, blah, blah and then I read articles like this and I know I am 100% right in saying that the vast majority of humans are morons. Or, at the very least I've discovered yet another Defective Cog in the Wheel.
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